An initial coaching contracting meeting sets the tone for a successful coaching relationship. It’s a focused conversation to build clarity, trust, and structure before coaching formally begins.

But, if you're new to coaching, the idea of a 'contracting' meeting can sound pretty daunting.

In fact, it's not really about a physical or legal 'contract' and more about clarifying issues and setting expectations - so 'contracting' (action) with your coach so that as you progress into the work of a coaching partnership, you are both on the same page.

Using the same Ask, Discuss, Agree framework that we introduced last month, helps both coach and client align expectations and ensure a strong foundation for their work together.

Ask

The coach will probably start by asking open questions to understand a bit about your background, your motivation and your hopes for coaching. The coach might ask: “What brings you to coaching?” or “What would success look like for you?”

You can also ask the coach about their background, their approach, experience, and how sessions typically work.

In essence, this stage is about assessing compatibility and building rapport. The coach is a professional and will be used to working with a wide range of people, so it's not about whether they 'like' you or not. It's more about whether they feel there is any ethical or other reason why they can't work with you, or can't adequately support you to work towards your goals.

Discuss

Next, you'll probably have a clear, transparent conversation about practicalities and boundaries. This includes the frequency and format of sessions, confidentiality, how goals will be set, and what each person is responsible for.

The coach will probably say things like "My skillset lies in supporting you to do X, Y, Z". They'll also want to clarify where "your responsibility lies" in terms of engaging in the process. They'll certainly want to gauge how ready you are for change, and how committed you are to working towards goals.

They'll probably want to ask how direct they can be with you, and how far you'd like them to challenge you. They'll also want to be clear on what's in or out of scope (coaching vs. therapy, for example).

At this point, particularly if the coaching is sponsored by a company or an organisation, it's good to bring that to the surface and discuss any agenda that that third party might have in the coaching having a particular outcome.

Agree

Finally, if both parties feel comfortable, you can formalise features of the agreement. The coach may want to note down things like high level coaching goals, availability, session logistics, and what each of you has agreed to be responsible for.

If you are paying for the coaching yourself, it's also a chance to clarify payment terms, cancellation policies, and how progress will be reviewed. If something doesn’t feel aligned, it’s perfectly acceptable to pause or suggest an alternative fit.

A well-structured contracting meeting isn’t just an admin step—it’s the moment the coaching relationship begins. By taking the time to ask the right questions, discuss openly, and agree clearly, both coach and client set themselves up for a focused, ethical, and effective coaching journey.